challenge, death, fiction, story

FFfAW: Standstill

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This post is in response to Priceless Joy‘s challenge in Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers. Priceless Joy’s personal blog is awesome and you should definitely check it out – it’s full of excellent responses to challenges/prompts.

Check out other people’s stories here:

Photo Credits – Dawn M. Miller

Word Count: 155

“Is that the wreckage from our accident? After all these days, they haven’t cleared it up?”

“If you really concentrate, you can still smell the rubber from our tyres.”

“Surely that’s a trick! Did you put someone up to this, Jay? This is freaking me out.”

“How many people do you think I communicate with everyday, to conspire with?”

“Then, seriously, tell me – why do I still smell burning rubber?”

“Let me fill you in on a little secret: When you die, the world stops, for you; everyone else’s life continues. You still see and smell everything from your last day alive; while in reality, there are cars driving up and down this very bridge right now. If it wasn’t for the big hole in the sidewall our car left behind, it would be as if the accident never happened.”

“Wait a minute… How do you know so much about all this?”

“It’s not my first time!”

22 thoughts on “FFfAW: Standstill”

  1. I found this mysterious! Tho I lobed trying to fit in the puzzle and finding out the person was actually dead. You did great in making a story at the same time, giving the readers chance to create their backstory.

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    1. Thank you, Ameena! I believe that if you tell your readers everything in the story, there’s no space left for them to play with their imaginations. A little bit of mystery never harmed anybody 🙂

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  2. Some intersting ideas in this one – that everything on Earth stays the same as it was when we died, and that Jay had died before. It seems the other person (he/she?) hadn’t realised they were dead – so a bit of a shock for him/her. The last line works really well.

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    1. Every line reveals a little bit more to the unnamed character and us as readers. I’ve never tried my hand at a good suspense so this is what I could come up with.
      Thank you for your comment 🙂

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  4. Great dialogues. I always struggle when I write dialogues because I can’t do natural dialogues. You know what would help? If you would also write the prompt. While it’s interesting to read your entries standalone, it would be more interesting if I knew what inspired the post.

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    2. I’m glad you liked the dialogues! I see them as my strong suit (not trying to sound smug) – I usually try to have the conversation play out right in front of me, as a third person. I imagine myself on that bridge overhearing their conversation. This helps build their individual characters and mannerisms, making sure they both don’t sound the same.
      I’m telling you this because I know you’ll see a big difference in the dialogues you write, as soon as you try it.

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    1. Thank you for setting a challenge like this. I spent a lot of time thinking over it and I’m glad I wrote something you liked.
      Yes, unfortunately, both the characters died in the car wreck but at least they are together in the after-life!

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